He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
