I hate all girls vehemently.
another moral hangover. fuck.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
