the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
