do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
