Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
