Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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