Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
