So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
