what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
