the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
