you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
