You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
