Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
