apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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