I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
