Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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