You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
