Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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