Nicole vs. Life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
