the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just cropdusted the office
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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