they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
