somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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