Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
