In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
