and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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