she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
