I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
