She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize