You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
