my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just had sex on a roof
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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