Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
