My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
