if i can run in heels then i can drive
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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