he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
