bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The beer is more important than you right now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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