Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
