She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
