I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize