In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
