Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
