my vag is so smooth its legendary
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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