The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
