So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
