My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize