Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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