chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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