Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did i walk over a car last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
