Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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