just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
