allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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