I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
