new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
