I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
