Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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