And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
