Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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