Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
