I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
