Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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