I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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