pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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