I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
