sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
