So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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