are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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